Strangers Know Me Better

I was shaking

clean as hell

close to breaking

you could tell

words I tried making

only failed

till you said the words

I needed unveiled,

"Stars fall from greater heights,

you're still up there, you're still bright."

and all the faces I'd seen on the way

all the places that made me feel insane

crumbled under your confidence

that I was bound for more than this.

"Pity, we never knew each other."

"In a way, I prefer this brief encounter."

"You mean I'm not something you could see enduring?"

"I mean unfamiliarity isn't past curing."

I'm Not Bold Enough to be Noble

(500) Days of Summer is a perfect example... of what I'd always thought I'd never do. Summer had, in my opinion, the perfect man: Joseph Gordon Levitt, a quirky-sweet boy with an icredibly classic yet edgy style. and for goodness sakes, he role played in like... walmart or wherever with her! Yet she said, "I'll pass." this has always boggled my mind, yet I've done the SAME EXACT thing on multiple occasions.

Where does this come from? This inability to see something so clearly in front of me, or rather, to see it and ignore it. I just enjoy reeling them in and then tossing them back... what the hell is wrong with me? And I'll never admit it, I'll never admit I was ever emotionally attached and I just want to know where this came from!

I'm not unfeeling; I'm not un-observant. But I try to play it off like I am. You know what, I feel safer if I'm the one saying 'no', and if I say it first they don't have a chance to say it. Fear, it comes from fear. I fool people because I'm not noble enough to tell them the truth.

I am, in essence, a terrible person. Or perhaps... i just haven't met someone who makes me want to risk myself. Is that such a bad thing? Can I help it if the people I know just don't inspire me to say "even if I get hurt, the wholehearted attempt will be worth it" ? It's not their fault either... it's the fault of fate.